


When I Was Your Man

by HansonPhreek



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, HP: EWE, M/M, POV First Person, Present Tense, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-16 14:46:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11255115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HansonPhreek/pseuds/HansonPhreek
Summary: Harry reflects on a lost relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Song fic inspired by “When I Was Your Man” by Bruno Mars. Sorry this is so depressing. I haven't decided if I want to write a second part that ends happily or just leave it here. Also sorry if I switch tenses at any point. I tried to be careful but it's a habit I've never been able to fully get rid of.

I roll over, my arm reaching out to grasp at nothingness. I sigh heavily as my eyes open. Empty. Still. I can't remember the bed feeling quite so big before. I close my eyes again briefly before I force myself to get up. I can't lay there by myself anymore. I can't stand to look at _his_ side of the bed like that.

A quick flick of my wrist turns the radio on. The silence of my flat has always bothered me, but it's only gotten worse since _he_ left. I take a shower, not really listening to the music but glad for the background noise. As I'm lacing up my trainers sometime later _our song_ starts to play. I make a move to turn it off but can't actually do it. The song...it just doesn't sound the same anymore.

I meet Ron and Hermione for breakfast like I do every Saturday. Ron pulls me in for a quick brotherly hug. Hermione smiles sadly at me before kissing my cheek. After we order our usual meals we chat about our week, but when Hermione accidentally says _his_ name I no longer hear their words. It feels like my heart is breaking all over again and I don't know how to put myself back together. I know they're trying to talk to me, most likely trying to distract me with a change of subject, but it all just sounds like a soft buzzing to me. 

Eventually they just give up and we eat in silence. As we leave the little muggle cafe Hermione pulls me into a lingering hug. “If you don't want to be alone, you can come to ours,” she offers quietly.

I pat her back and murmur “I'm fine” in her ear before gently extracting myself from her embrace. She frowns slightly but nods once in acceptance.

Ron's hand clasps my shoulder tightly and I turn to look at him. He looks into my eyes and I get this odd feeling like he's trying to read my mind. After a long moment he appears to come to a decision and then he grins. “We'll see you at the Ministry tonight.”

“Yeah.” I nod vaguely and then turn and walk down the street. I feel their eyes linger on me as I move but I force myself not to look back. I make my way along the street in the direction of my flat as I let my mind wander. I think of the big party at the Ministry later. I find it hard to believe that it's already been a year since I defeated Voldemort. I don't feel like celebrating but I don't really have a choice. I have to go.

I turn the corner to my street as my thoughts drift to _him_. Will _he_ be at the party too? I imagine he would get an invitation simply because of his name. But he was a part of the war too. He was at the Final Battle. He was there when I finished it all. He was a bigger part of it all them most people realize, even a year later. Am I ready to face him? No, I don't think I am.

I make my way up to my flat slowly. It was _my_ pride, _my_ ego, _my_ needs, _my_ selfish ways that made him walk out of my life. I was pretty messed up after the war and we fell into a relationship almost immediately. We were happy for a while, until we weren't. I couldn't see what I was doing to him, to us, until it was all over. Now, I'll never get to clean up the mess I made.

I unlock my door, toe off my trainers, and flop onto the couch. I close my eyes but all I see his _him_. _He_ haunts me every time I close my eyes. I sigh and open my eyes again. I putter around my flat, trying to pass the time. I'm not sure when I got so much free time, but now I can never find enough things to fill it all.

The day passes slowly but somehow it's still a blur. Finally it's time to go. I'm dressed in my best dress robes, the ones _he_ picked out. He was right, they do look good on me. I don't even botehr with my hair, nothing ever works.

I make my way through the Ministry and hope to slip unnoticed into the ballroom. But it doesn't take long for me to be spotted by the press hovering near the entrance. They crowd around me only a few feet into the large room, shouting questions. I simply ignore them and continue walking into the party. I scan the room, looking for a place I can hide. Before I can find a suitable spot I see _him_.

He's on the dance floor with...well, someone else. I don't really care who it is, I just know that it's not me. I find myself frozen to the spot as they slowly rotate in sweeping circles across the floor. The song ends a few moments later and I watch as they move away from the other dancers. His partner leaves him, probably to get them both drinks.

My feet carry me to him without my permission. Before I know it I'm standing in front of him. His grey eyes are icy as he gazes at me indifferently. It hurts to have him look at me that way. “Draco,” I practically breathe.

He frowns just slightly. “Potter.”

My mouth starts moving of it's own accord. _I_ don't even know what's going to come out of it. “I was wrong.” I take a deep breath and continue before he can say anything, though I have no idea if he _was_ going to speak. “I know I'm probably much to late to try and apologize for my mistakes, but I just want you to know I hope he buys you flowers. I hope he holds your hand. I hope he gives you all his hours when he has the chance. I hope he takes you to every party cause I remember how much you love to dance. I hope he does all the things I should have done, when I was your man.”

The look in his eyes softens just slightly and he opens his mouth, I think to answer me. But it is just then that his dance partner returns. “They only had elvish wine, Dray. I hope that's okay,” the man says as he holds out a wine glass and places a gentle kiss on the blond's cheek.

Before the new man even notices me, I turn and walk away. I want to run, but I know that wouldn't look good. “Harry!” Draco class out softly after me, but I don't even hesitate as I make my way back towards the door. I hear his date ask him if that was ' _the_ Harry Potter' but his answer is lost to me as I put more and more distance between us.

I push my way back through the crowd of reporters at the entrance and walk down the hall towards the apparition point. Hermione spots me as she makes her way the opposite direction and reaches out to pull me into a hug. I shake my head, not trusting my voice. Ron looks confused as I walk past them and I hear Hermione mutter a one-worded explanation: “Malfoy.”

As I wipe some unexpected moisture from my eyes I turn on the spot into nothingness.


	2. I Want You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months later, Draco finally has enough courage to face his ex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song fic inspired by “That's How You Get The Girl” by Taylor Swift.

It's been six months since I last saw _him_. It was at a Ministry party and he'd approached me and said some of the most honest and wonderful things I'd ever heard. But it's taken me this long to figure out what I needed to do and gather up the courage to actually do it. I'm a Slytherin, after all, not a foolish act-first-think-later Gryffindor. It starts raining just as I prepare to go to his flat and I consider waiting another day. But I realize that if I allow myself to postpone this I might _never_ go.

The problem is that he thinks it's all his fault, the failure of our relationship. But he's wrong. _I_ left _him_. I knew he was a mess after the war, but I've never been the patient type. I'm too stubborn sometimes and when I should have been supportive I failed. Miserably. It's not easy for me to admit that, even to myself. But it's true. He'd spent his entire life doing the bidding of others, so it shouldn't have been a surprise when he was finally free to do as he pleased and he went round the bend for a bit. I've let him believe he chased me away for too long. I _have_ to fix this, and get him back.

I apparate to what I hope is an empty alley not too far from his flat, thankful that I was right. He lives in a muggle neighborhood and it wouldn't do any good to get arrested for breaking the Statue of Secrecy. It's raining harder where he lives and I'm drenched before I even reach the door of his building. I've had several people tell me I look a bit like a ghost when I'm standing out in the rain. It must be because of how pale and blond I am.

I look up to the second floor, knowing that all he would have to do is look out his window and he'd see me. I press the buzzer for his flat and wait. Sure enough a moment later the curtains shift and I see him stare down at me. He seems to freeze, almost as if he can't believe what he's seeing. Maybe, like all those others, he thinks he's seeing a ghost. Finally, he lets the curtains fall shut again and I hear his voice coming from the little speaker near the door. “Are you insane?” is all he has to say.

I smile slightly, because I think he might be right. “It's been a long six months,” I murmur in way of a reply. “And I've been too afraid to tell you what I want.”

There is silence for a long moment. I wonder what he's thinking and for not the first time I wish I could read his mind. If he'd been standing right in front of me I might consider using legillimency just to try, but I know it wouldn't work. Sometime while on the run from the Dark Lord he finally perfected what Snape had failed to teach him, how to shield his mind. Eventually I hear the faint sound of the door unlocking and I sigh in relief. 

I make my way up to his door and as I raise my hand to knock, it slowly opens. I step inside and see him in the kitchen, fussing over a pot of tea. I shut the door quietly and walk into his living room. I gaze at the pictures on his mantle. There's one of him and Ron and Hermione, taken not too long after the Final Battle. They're standing in front of a half rebuilt Hogwarts, arms around each other and grinning. Next to it is an old Weasley family portrait, in which Ron seems to only be about 8 years old. Then there's a picture of me and him, as I gaze at it picture-me turns to kiss picture-him on the cheek before smirking at his blush. I reach out and touch the picture gently, the rest of the frames suddenly disappearing from my view as I'm mesmerized by this token of happier times.

“That was always my favorite picture of us,” he says quietly from behind me. 

I turn around and he's standing near the entrance of the room holding two cups of tea. He holds one out for me and I take it, suddenly much more nervous than I can ever remember being, and that's saying something. I take a sip, smiling when I realize he still remembers exactly how I take my tea. I turn back to look at the picture again. “Mine too.”

He sits on the couch and looks up at me expectantly. I know he's wondering why I've shown up so suddenly after so long, but I don't remember what I had planned on saying anymore. I take another sip of my tea and sigh quietly before placing the cup of the nearest table. “I must have lost my mind,” I blurt out quite unexpectedly, “when I left you all alone.”

He looks slightly shocked and I'm suddenly at a loss for words. After a moment his mouth opens and one word, spoken with a kind of reverence, comes out, “Draco.”

I approach him and drop to my knees in front of him. “Harry,” I whisper before my voice catches in my throat. I swallow and try again. “I want you.”I take a quick breath in as my heart hammers so loudly in my ears I swear he must be able to hear it. “I want you for worse or for better. I broke your heart, but now I'll put it back together.” I can't even look him in the eye. “If you need time, I would wait forever and ever. I only have ever wanted _you_.”

He places a hand under my chin and tilts me head up. My eyes meet his shockingly green ones and the love I see shining there makes me want to melt into a puddle. Slowly he smiles at me and my heart feels like it stops as he leans in and brushes his lips against mine. Before we can actually kiss I speak again, “I love you.”

“Mmm, ditto,” he murmurs before pressing his lips fully against mine in a soul searing kiss. As he moves to deepen the kiss I have the feeling that everything will be alright, eventually.


End file.
